On the internet
On the internet
I could feel so strongly about some one like this again. Our relationship is complicated but I love you. I say it so much because I can’t say it to you. I just won’t say it to you again. I guess for right now it’s for me to know and you to find out that I really am in love with you. I just don’t want to say it to you again and show you how I feel because I know you don’t feel the same way and thousands of other reasons why..
My baby just said he can’t sleep and he’s coming over. I asked him why he can’t fall asleep, and he said maybe it’s just not his home anymore. :)
It’s like it’s the opposite, I’m too scared and you’re too damaged.
Because you’re so scared and damaged to open up, to love, to give me a chance, to feel everything you wanted to feel. But you don’t know if you want it.
But I’m too damaged, by you, I’m scared too. I’m scared to love you and feel this way. And I’m really damaged by what happened to me, and what you did to me. You lied and I really can’t trust you.
But I love you and I still want this and I am willing to try once I’m stable enough and you are too.
To find that person who will ask me what’s wrong still even though I said I’m fine. I love it when you care and know that there is some thing wrong right when you look at me even though I try to hide it. It warms my heart that you care. I love you even though it may be you who is making me feel this way. Because at the end of the day you ask me until I give you an answer and you care. You try to make me feel better or until I smile. I need to appreciate you more for what you do.
But to get back to the subject.. I don’t like bothering people with my problems and how I feel, I’ll say I’m fine and hold it inside. Because I dunno..
But another thing that I love is that you know I hold a lot inside and you make the effort to find out and you care.
This is why I love SF, so many things to do and events. I just want to find some one who is willing to go on adventures with me and just do shit and it doesn’t matter where we go, as long as we do it together. Some one who is out going and wants to do more shit with me. I also wanna know what site has all the events that will be happening soon in SF.
I’ve always wanted a monkey :)